Two things

1/9/10

1) Over the past few months as I have been sending the various emails represented in the string below, I have received much positive feedback from individuals who related with the various issues raised. As such, I was looking for more material that has over the years encouraged me when faced with circumstances which discredit the gospel. The series of quotes that I have pasted below represents something I had sent to a few people a couple of years back when I was dealing with such a circumstance. I hope some of you find it helpful. If you don't wish to read and ponder all of the quotes (although I think you should as there is much encouragement in them, I truly believe), then at least scroll down to the Ortberg quote highlighted in blue. To me, this quote hits the mark with regard to everything that I have written about concerning the theme of broken relationships.

2) The email string ending on 12/11/09 is now posted on a website that a friend set up for me, www.holyrubbish.com, which you can feel free to review and comment on if you like. This email with the Ortberg, Hybels and MacArthur quotes will be posted soon, too. Just so you know, I'm not very technically savvy and don't have much energy around becoming a "blogger", so I will apologize in advance if I don't do very well staying current with the site.

Here's the new quotes for your consideration:

From “Everybody’s Normal Till You Get To Know Them” by John Ortberg (Chapter 9, The Gift Nobody Wants: Confrontation)…

“When another Christian falls into obvious sin, an admonition is imperative, because God’s Word demands it.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“It is unlikely that we will deepen our relationship with God in a casual or haphazard way.” - William Paulson

“A life of total dedication to truth also means a life of willingness to be personally challenged.” - Scott Peck

“But he (King David) had a Truth-Teller in his life, and that meant that failure did not get the last word.”

“He (David) thought the great danger was someone might find out. But that isn’t the great danger. The great danger is that no one will find out.”

“David goes at least nine months being king, pretending to worship, and leading the people, while inside he carries the secret guilt of unconfessed, unrepentant murder and adultery. Every day he gets a little more used to his deception. Every day his heart gets a little harder; God gets a little farther away.”

“There are all kinds of reasons Nathan could tell himself to avoid having this talk: Who do I think I am to confront David? I’ve lusted in my heart-I’m no better than he is. Maybe he’s confessed all this to God. Besides, it would be embarrassing to bring the whole subject up. Probably there is somebody else in David’s life that’s closer to him who should talk to him about it.”

“There is a very important theological distinction between being a prophet and being a jerk. What burns deeply in the heart of a true prophet is not just anger but love.”

“Nathan is angry with David, but he also loves him.”

“If truth-telling is so important, if we all agree we need it to grow, if it is an act of love-why does so little of it go on? The answer, simply, is fear. It takes enormous courage to be a Truth-Teller. If we speak painful truth to someone, things get messy. We might be rejected. We might get into a long, difficult discussion. There is a good chance that we will be accused of meddling in what’s not our business. It will cost us time and energy. It gets frightening. We usually tell the truth until it’s costly, and then we trade the truth for peace.”

“The New Testament records a surprising amount of chaos. Jesus himself was never frightened by it and often invited people into it…He asked people why they called him “Lord” without doing what he said…he called religious leaders ‘corpses with expensive make up jobs’ (‘white washed tombs’), knowing full well things would get messy.”

“People who love authentic community always prefer the pain of temporary chaos to the peace of permanent superficiality.”

“Telling people what they want to hear is not love. When people are engaged in destructive, soul-threatening behavior, they need a mirror. They need someone who will tell them the truth. Nathan loved David so much he was willing to risk his life to be a Truth-Teller. Ironically, we often chicken out of speaking the truth for infinitely lower stakes.”

“Nathan tells David the truth. For who knows how long, all is silence. The thought surely occurs to David: I can manage this problem as well. No one knows but Nathan. If I get rid of him, I’m home free. But David hears a voice. The voice whispers to David of days when he was an innocent shepherd boy and God cared for him. It reminds him of the exhilaration he had once known fighting for God. It recalls the days when he danced before the ark. It remembers when his best friend, Jonathan, had given up his own ambitions for the sake of David and affirmed that David was God’s choice to be king. For who knows how long, Nathan’s fate hangs in the balance. And although perhaps he didn’t know it, David’s does as well.”

“All indications are that without Nathan to interrupt him, this slide would go on indefinitely.”

From Chapter 7 (Community Is Worth Fighting For) of same John Ortberg book…

“Sometimes people think that a lack of conflict is automatically a sign of spiritual maturity. Unfortunately, that’s not necessarily the case.”

“If we are going to enter life in little communities, unaddressed and unresolved breakdowns are not acceptable.”

“You may stutter and stammer and stumble over your words. Don’t let that stop you….Doing it flawlessly is not the main concern. The main thing is to go.”

“Avoidance kills community. Avoidance causes resentment to fester inside you.”

“In a similar way, anger is not a primary emotion. It is virtually always the result of a mixture of other emotions, such as hurt, frustration, or fear.”

“On the management team where I work, we often talk about the ‘Last 10 Percent Rule.’ The idea is this: Often, after going through all the hard work of setting up a difficult conversation, we shrink back from saying the hardest but most important truth.”

“I do this (hold back saying the hardest truth) not out of love for the other person, but because I don’t want to go through the pain or fear involved in deeper conflict.”

“Your aim should be to restore the relationship. Reconciliation is rarely simple and almost never quick. But it is Jesus’ will for the human race. It is his express command for his church. If this is not the goal, all the rest of our work will be for nothing.”

From “Rediscovering Church” by Lynne & Bill Hybels (Chapter 4, The Train Wreck)…

“The following morning an elder announced the staff member’s resignation, citing ‘differing philosophies of ministry’…The elders assumed the congregation would accept the partial explanation given, but they clearly misjudged…The elders tried to explain in positive terms the philosophical and personality issues that necessitated a ‘parting of the ways.’ But in order to protect the privacy of the resigned staff member, they hid the real issue behind an opaque screen of secrecy. When people questioned the former staff member, he too avoided a straight answer.”

“Years later it is undoubtedly hard for an outsider to understand why the elders continued to hide the real issue, given the intensity of misunderstanding that existed. If they had it to do over again, they would take a different-and more biblical-approach, but back then it seemed like a betrayal of friendship and an unnecessary injustice to innocent parties to publicize wrongdoings. So the confusion, the polarization, and the pain continued.”

“Within six months nearly half our staff was gone.”

“I remember sitting alone at night while the kids slept and Bill attended another elders meeting and thinking, This is not what God had in mind. This is not how it was supposed to turn out. Sin has ruined His plan. We have ruined His plan. This is wrong. Really wrong. It all seemed so senselessly tragic. Why did it happen?”

“Sadly, divorce followed on the heels of several staff resignations and lay leader departures.”

“Perhaps had the elders told the church body the whole truth about the staff member’s behavior to begin with, in a biblical way that acknowledged the seriousness of sin but also opened the door for repentance and restoration, the damage may yet have been ‘contained.’ But their failure to do so started the dominoes falling, which led to what we have unaffectionately called the Train Wreck of ’79.”

“Over the years, our elders have handled many other potentially explosive situations wisely and lovingly, and time after time they have protected our church body from division and deception. But the route to learning their gentle art was painful and frightening.”

“I failed to call people to holiness.”

From “The Truth War” by John MacArthur (Appendix, Why Discernment Is Out Of Fashion)…

“Evangelicals have embraced compromise as a tool for church growth, a platform for unity, and even a test of spirituality. Take an uncompromising stance on almost any doctrinal or biblical issue, and a chorus of voices will call you obstinate, unkind, heartless, contentious, or unloving, no matter how ironically you frame your argument. Did I say ‘argument’? Many people have the false idea that Christians should never argue about anything.”

“Those who dare to take an unpopular stand, declare truth in a definitive way-or worst of all, express disagreement with someone else’s teaching-will inevitably be marked as troublesome.”

“Yet sometimes division is fitting, even healthy. Especially in times like Luther’s-and like ours-when the visible church seems full of counterfeit Christians, it is right for the true people of God to declare themselves. There is no room for compromise.”

“Sound doctrine divides, confronts, separates, judges, convicts, reproves, rebukes, exhorts, and refutes error.”

“Yet another reason discernment is so rare today and apostasy is such a serious problem is the almost universal failure of churches to follow Jesus’ instructions in Matthew 18 on how to deal with sinning church members.”

“If he refuses to repent, he must ultimately be put out of the church. Paul said not even to eat with such a person (1 Corinthians 5:11). This is not to suggest you should treat him like an enemy, but rather that you love him enough to seek his repentance by whatever means possible.”

“The church must hold up a high and holy standard. A very clear line must be drawn between the world and the church. Known and open sin cannot be tolerated. As soon as the church stops dealing with sin seriously, the world mingles with the church and the difference is obliterated.”

“The church must purge and discipline and sift and purify. First Peter 4:17 says, ‘It is time for judgment to begin with the household of God’ (NASB).”

“Lack of discernment and lack of church discipline walk side by side. Not only does the same mentality lead to both lacks, but by rejecting discipline one naturally downplays the very concerns that make him discerning.”

“I have absolutely no confidence in contemporary Christian pollsters, starting with their incorrigible unwillingness to make any kind of meaningful distinction between a heathen who makes a religious profession in the name of Christ, and people who truly seem to believe God’s Word, love the Lord, and give credible professions of faith. (That is, of course, the very distinction Christ instructed us to make in Matthew 7:15-20.)”

Thanks,
Ken